Majorwoody

the silence is deafening.

You need to know everything, and nothing. Read the posts here and on the ``other site``, but skip the personal attacks and america-bashing. Don`t read Moon or Lonely planet. If you must buy a book, try Guia de Nicaragua, available at hispamer, but skip their jaundiced history.

Go to Granada, don`t buy property, don`t drive, and don`t make any long term commitments. Have fun. If you are still there a couple years later, you can decide what you want to do with your life.

Well first of all, if you are moving to grEnada, you are on the wrong forum as thats an island in the carribean. haha.
But really, im assuming you meant the town of Granada in Nicaragua.

What you need to know depends on what you are doing here. Its a very broad question thats very different depending on if you are moving permanently, or just getting away, if youve ever been here before, or if this is your first time. If you are rich and retiring, or a broke college student looking for adventure, etc.

The biggest thing to know is take all advice with a grain of salt. 90% of the advice given to people on various forums would not work out well for me personally. Its not bad advice, its just that everyone is so different its hard to know you well enough to give good specific advice to just you.

read a lot. and then read some more. and then come to check it out for a while. Dont settle in permanently, as the majority of people who "settle down" in nicaragua end up leaving after a couple/few years. There arent many who stay. Check out the place for a year, get out and see the country outside of gringolandia (granada). make sure its what you want to do and where you want to be personally. be prepared to be adaptable, as things change frequently here, and you dont always get what you want. which is not always a terrible thing if you have the right attitude.

Most important thing... Spend 6 months in country (Preferably in one stretch, or 6 one month bits minimum)

Second most important thing ... Nicaragua is not for sissies...

You will know soon enough if you follow #1 if Nica is for you..

I married a Nica 22 yrs ago last week so I had Boot camp training...

Granada is full of real estate gringos who tell you that the average house price in Granada is $200K. As one Nicaraguan friend said, you could buy a good house in Summerville, SC, for half of that. As one gringo who's been living in Granada for years said in private, there is a real Granada inside the Potemkin Village Granada, but most of the expats hang out in the Potemkin Village Granada. It's harder, not easier, to meet Nicaraguans in areas where your kind are their jobs (people in the tourist industry are faking it most of the time and can't afford not to fake it). Live in the Managua area (where an average nice enough house is $65K or less) and visit Granada.

When people say they're looking for paradise, I wonder why they're thinking Nicaragua would be that unless they've got some serious fish/orchids/insect interests.

The other trouble is that most people go to foreign countries like time sharing rich -- staff, entertainment, and all that -- and it's short term. (Ironically, the real rich often stay with each other and don't do resorts or even city hotels). So, the tourists' impressions are based on what the Granada guy called the Potemkin Villages -- the things that aren't really what the country is like and which are expensive and so not sustainable for most of us (if I go to the UK in April, I'll be renting a room from a friend and liviing more like a local).

Granada is geared to extracting maximum income from tourists and people who believe other expats. If you're rich, it might be quite a lot of fun for the cooler months of the year, and you don't need Spanish.

The biggest lesson people seem to need to learn is that Nicaragua is not about the expats outside of San Juan del Sur and the gringo-ized side of Granada (this site has an excellent article discussing how real estate works in Granada).

One expat in Granada was in construction in the US and offers to look over plans people get from Nicaraguan contractors who speak English -- they generally don't take him up on the offer and end up with houses with strange electrical wiring at the least.

The hustlers will point out all the people who bought land on line and flew in and had a wonderful life --- the thing they're selling is "being naive doesn't matter." There's a reason they're selling "experience in country doesn't matter."

We agree on little on this site, but this is one thing I think almost all of us who've been here more than a few months do agree on. Be cautious. Get to know the place. Learn Spanish.

Today, two guys met up with me when I was near my house and one introduced himself as a gringo. I said I'd lived here four years and waited, without unlocking my front door, for them to be on their way, and they got that and went on their way. If you don't understand why I didn't unlock my door until they'd moved on, you are going to have problems in Granada from the street kids to the women to the other gringos who are down on their luck or with business plans they need investors for.

Miz Brown about nails it. I have been in Nicaragua all total, in two stints and with frequent travel here when not living here, for 7 years and that is a very good description of Granada. From my perspective I believe she might not have touched on that a bunch of the gringo's there are lushes, not all but a decent portion of them. It is almost like a late middle age or geriatric version of wannabe Spring Break 67' with a bunch of cheap beer thrown in. I love retirees and most folks, but not so much drunk gringos usually escaping from something all bitching about how it is done up north.

As the other respondents mention, it is Nicaragua and not for sissies and I would say even more it is not for sissies that are easily shocked.

All told this is a nice country with good people for the most part, but as mentioned, learn the nuances, the habits, the expectations, and the culture to a degree. I say to a degree because I am convinced that only a native born Nica with many formative years here can truly be a Nica, as they are a breed apart.

Renting is the best bargain right now in Nicaragua as far as I am concerned, so rent a spell and move around if you must.

miz brown..did a good job on granada..personally..i dont like it..there are a lot of drunks there

Originally Posted by RGV AG

Renting is the best bargain right now in Nicaragua as far as I am concerned, so rent a spell and move around if you must.

And, worst case scenario, it's better to have paid gringo rent for a year until you get your bearings than have paid a gringo price for a house.

I guess the question we should be asking is why Granada? For around twenty years or so, various entities have picked one or the other of several Central American countries to be the next Hot Place to retire. A gringa in Honduras pointed out that around a decade and a half ago, Honduras was getting the love -- and Honduras now is not really a safe country particularly.

My checklist for "Does this move make sense?" :

1. Can you get the medicines and other things you need to live here when you visit to check the place out? Don't make assumptions here. Verify.
2. Hobbies -- can you find satisfactory supplies or good substitutes for the things you do? (I can't get Eheim cannister filters here so someone rigged up a wet-dry sort of filter from a food grade plastic bucket and a submersible pump).
3. Do you need a car and can you afford one? Price gas, insurance and check with laws affecting drivers who have accidents.
4. Do you need to make money here? Talk to some people who've done it. The classic story is people come during the high season and decide that running a bar or restaurant will be do-able. What's it like in the off season?
5. Price electricity for what you want to do. If you want a fully air-conditioned colonial mansion in Granada, that's going to be costly. Bring down a tester that will tell you if wiring is grounded and figure out what to do if it isn't.
6. What can you do for yourself -- home repairs, gardening. I have a great landlord; not all renters are so fortunate. Knowing the trades also allows you to better evaluate work you're hiring done.
7. Know something about house construction techniques used here and when a mud and cane or adobe house is not a bargain at any price (if the roof leaked for any length of time, don't buy unless you have experience in rebuilding such houses). Most people where I live rebuild with cinderblock and rebar then stucco over and paint the stucco. The real estate sales infrastructure people count on in the US doesn't exist here: no comps, no licensed realtors.
8. How tolerant are you of learning curves --- there's learning the language. I've never heard a credible story of anyone even young learning Spanish to fluency in less than a skull-pounding year of immersion. Most people will take longer than that. There's one of learning the culture -- and most people already know about the US and have family or friends who've lived there, so they have more informed opinions of the US than most expats have of Nicaragua (other than the people who married Nicaraguan a number of years back).
9. What's your exit strategy? Not having one seems to me to be unrealistic.

i havent particularly noticed that Granada has a lot of gringo lushes.
But Granada does have a silly high number of pedophiles. Which is probably the main reason i hate it. I dont know if its bad luck, or what, but the last 4 times ive been there, i seem to sit next to or overhear some pedophile. I went with friends to Kathy's Waffle House, and sat next to this table with this character out of a bad movie. You could tell he was a terrible person, but had money. His sister had came to visit him and spent the whole time looking in the mirror fixing herself, and his business buddy showed up and spent a lot of time stroking his ego with how much he means to the community of granada and they all owe him thanks, etc. Meanwhile this socially inept rich guy had a local nica girl who looked miserable next to him. She also looked about 16 or 17. The guy went on and on about he didnt understand why she was miserable because he pleasured her so well last night, multiple times, in every possible place. The girl, who only responded in spanish, and the guy, who spoke no spanish was frustrated that he didnt understand her and kept telling her that she needed to learn english. For 30 minutes i had to hear all about his sexual exploits. Of which he was quite proud and loudly proclaimed them, i think in hopes that someone from our table would pat him on the back or something. Instead, i had some not nice words to say to him....

Unfortunately, this was not a one off occurrence in the city, once i went with friends to the swimming pool in Hotel Granada, and there was an old white guy nuzzling up to a girl that made the 17 year old at kathys waffle house look like an old married lady, and bragging to his friend how easy it is to get any girl he wants. Just walk up to a home, ask her parents how much....done deal. To this day i still regret not punching him in the face.

Unfortunately, i could go on and tell a few more stories exactly like these, from when i hung out in granada.

im certainly not going to over generalize here and call every expat in granada a pedophile. i know a handful of nice expats there personally. i just somehow have had the bad fortune of ending up right next to the pervs many times in going there.

They reside in more than Granada...

Creepy rasta haired fellow who played bongos, living in a in a California plated pick up with camper on the back was negotiating with street kids in 2012 just 10m down the street from our balcony at Joxi in SJDS... Even with all of the dead bodies seen on the Tipitapa /Masaya highway we have seen (4) it was the most disturbing thing we have witnessed so far.. Sent an email to INTERPOL and the FBI with the plate number.. Never know what ever came of it..

The other side had one guy come in and make it plain that he wanted a housekeeper with benefits, then started defending the guys who "help the young girls and their families" in exchange for sex. Not all expats are nice and the ones who insist that all expats are nice I tend to be wary of, just as I'm wary of people who insist that the rules don't need to be followed and experience in country doesn't mean as much as pure enthusiasm and being on the manic side.Someone posted a link to a bitter YouTube video to the FB Expats in Nicaragua group -- guy was in Peru and was nuttier than a nutty thing leaving the US to go to Peru to escape the coming police state and economic collapse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9Dq...ature=youtu.be .He does make the point that all this would be as difficult, minus the language difference, if people moved to tiny villages in England.

In fairness to Gringos. Nicaragua has more than a few Pedofiles of it's own.

Well, yah.

Life in the Campo makes Granada seem almost wholesome.

Granada is not so bad as many make it out to be, lots of good places to eat, entertainment options, close to MGA, but there are many Gringos and some are not so nice. I know a few gringos that have or do live there that have little contact with other Gringos unless they bump in to them somewhere, most of them I met years ago on NL or on this site and we keep in touch a few times a year, maybe visit if I travel through town.

Thing is the people who are buying now are buying into a world-destination city. And having lived in NYC, I can say that there are some cool things about living in a world-destination city. But I also saw people having the fire sales and leaving town in NYC and I'm sure people have plans go up in smoke in Granada, too.

I think for new expats the ideal cities are the ones with a mix of bilingual locals and some English-speaking but not North American expats (Jinotega has Russians, Germans, Chinese). Granada is going to be about maximizing profits before something else is the next cool city with 500 year old architecture (and more of Europe has that). The rich are fickle, and Mexico has some spare colonial village still to be discovered. Managua doesn't glitter and doesn't look like a convention of wedding cakes, but a $65K house there will probably be sound enough (one guy pointed out a development of those near where he lives on the outskirts, and re-salable reasonably quickly. That $300K house in Granada, not so much.

Both my brother and a Chinese guy who's in the tropical fish trade asked me why I wasn't in the capital. Except for the 100 plus F days, it's a reasonable question, just more of a car place.

Granada has the advantage of being about 30 Km from a lot of interesting stuff, but then Managua has the same advantages and the airport.

I did ten years in rural Virginia. The idea of dealing with a countryside full of the Spanish-speaking equivalents of my grandfather's and uncle's tenants strikes me as a great way to really not enjoy myself. You know that feeling when the kid who you paid to help you put up the pork in the smokehouse stole the meat and sold it to a fence (happened to my grandfather) -- I suspect you've know of the Nicaraguan equivalent to that. Anyone who thinks living in the country will mean less crime than living in town has a poor grasp of statistics.

Mucho pedophiles and bad gringo's in Granada, more than the norm per capita in my opinion. When CR got too expensive and troublesome many of the bottom feeders there migrated to Granada. One thing about Nicaragua is that if you look for trouble you can easily find it and if you are not good at discerning potential trouble from a nonsensical story this is not the place for you. As mentioned there are plenty of local pedophiles and bad characters as well, from what I have seen they local and expatriate bad crowds usually mix and mingle and feed off each other.

There are lots of really nice and good, not to mention sober, expatriates in both Granada and SJDS, sadly many of the bad ones stick out. It is easy to get away with bad behavior and illicit activities in Nicaragua for a while, but due to it's population size and gossipy nature things usually come out and the consequences are not good. Nicaragua has also developed a cottage industry in a segment of the population that, for lack of a better word, preys on Gringos with a little cash. Many of the older single males navigate the industry and it is dangerous and not to mention the bad ramifications it has on a small society as a whole.

Somewhat self imposed I have limited my personal and my families "circle" to mostly locals, as I have found that more wholesome and decent along with less complications. I do have some contact with expats, some of the great folks on here, and others that work in the same industry as I do, but I do not seek gringos for a variety of reasons. Most of the gringos that I know down here, that really like and enjoy Nicaragua, have developed more local friends and social circles, I believe this enables a more functional existence.

Originally Posted by RGV AG

Nicaragua has also developed a cottage industry in a segment of the population that, for lack of a better word, preys on Gringos with a little cash. Many of the older single males navigate the industry and it is dangerous and not to mention the bad ramifications it has on a small society as a whole.

Somewhat self imposed I have limited my personal and my families "circle" to mostly locals, as I have found that more wholesome and decent along with less complications. I do have some contact with expats, some of the great folks on here, and others that work in the same industry as I do, but I do not seek gringos for a variety of reasons. Most of the gringos that I know down here, that really like and enjoy Nicaragua, have developed more local friends and social circles, I believe this enables a more functional existence.

My Granada expat acquaintance said that it's about getting money and/or a light skinned son for the woman. The light skinned son will have better career opportunities and will take better care of Momma in her old age. If both parties understand each other, that's their business. But there are a lot of European medieval stories about the May/December marriages with the old fool not realizing that the hot young wife was finding more appealing pleasures in other arms.

Maybe the more functional expats develop more local friends and social circles rather than developing those makes anyone more functional?

Maybe the more functional expats develop more local friends and social circles rather than developing those makes anyone more functional?

Haha, I believe you have indirectly called me functional, that is a wonderful compliment, although most that know me would argue otherwise.

Actually, what you write makes perfect sense. I think one of the things I have seen over the years, and I was basically reared an expat and had a mother that was and remained a staunch expat her whole life, is that many expats are trying to change their past and their lives by going to a new location. Kinda like a woman in the 60's or 70's would get a new hairstyle to come out of an event or breakup or something. What I have found is that how your life was "back home" is likely how your life will evolve offshore. The process might take a while to develop and the food, customs, and scenery will be different, but at the end of the day the personal aura and feelings will end up about the same.

I think older divorced/widowed, or just lecherous, males are the exception as they get offshore trying to capture the elusive Brown Breasted Mattress Thrasher that they actually think finds them suave, successful, and attractive. Bunk. It is all about the business and convenience and I don't find anything wrong with it, as it is natural and nature and has been going on since Christ was a corporal. But it is what it is. I always those type of arrangements work out to be mutually beneficial and that the juice, on both sides, is worth the squeeze. There is a lot of that in Nicaragua and in many cases it serves its purpose as the Nicaragua male in large percentage, by the numbers and through all spectrum's of society, is not all that desirable nor reliable when it comes to family stuff.

Um, my observations are that the Nicaraguan male, at least in Jinotega, at least the ones I lived near, is more reliable on average than a 50 something Tea Partier who has fallen in lust with someone he can't talk to, or the Quaker adulterer who starts thinking he ought to return to his wife.

My sane guy friends have avoided these sort of entanglements. One of them said, "I know what she looks like and I know what I look like." Feel sorrier in some ways for the guys than the women. Lot of cases, there's a young lover or husband behind the scenes. One guy wrote of similar women in Thailand that they are Academy-Award class actresses.

My sane guy friends have avoided these sort of entanglements. One of them said, "I know what she looks like and I know what I look like." Feel sorrier in some ways for the guys than the women. Lot of cases, there's a young lover or husband behind the scenes. One guy wrote of similar women in Thailand that they are Academy-Award class actresses.

Yes ma'am that makes sense and I believe you are dead on. I spent just over 15 years, from 23 to 38, being a single Spanish speaking gringo male in Maquilas from Matamoros to San Salvador so I can identify with being highly sought after on side of the border and amazingly enough on the other I was lucky to get second dates. As they say, necessity is the mother of invention.

Oddly I never got involved with any of the women, and I managed over 600 at one time, that worked for me while we were co-workers and or I was the boss. I always felt it would be really a rotten thing to do and as I was young I had some vanity about me. I did go out with a couple, nothing serious, after they left the companies but it was never going anywhere and I think they knew by then that I was not going to get involved. Ironically, after working with so many women all day, all the time I actually ran the other direction from women, I think it was why I didn't marry until I had a shotgun wedding at 38 with my young bride of 34.

As I told my wife on her first trip to Nicaragua, I never knew I was so good looking until I came to Nicaragua, LOL. I think she did a double eye roll and laughed for about 20 minutes.

I really am not too politically correct and I have lots of preconceived notions and biases that follow me around, sometimes like garlic breath or something. One of them is that I am not a fan of the Latin male in general. I grew up around them, I hung out with them, many of them are my close friends, and so on and so forth. Yet I have spent 22 years ambling through the detritus of their care free youths and irresponsible actions. Watching women of all ages slave away on a sewing machine 9 or 10 hours a day while the father(s) of her children are nowhere to be seen has jaded me something fierce. Equally, watching children grow up and go bad after a fatherless life in less than ideal surroundings has galled me no end. I am not so daft that I do not know that the aforementioned situations also occur worldwide, but Lord have mercy it is way out of control in Latin America, no matter the country.

I believe this is exacerbated in Nicaragua due to the social breakdown that followed the 80's. In the last 6 months in a plant here in Nicaragua we have had 17 pregnancies, we were looking at this for cost reasons the other day, and not one of them was married nor living with a father. Maybe some of the women are part of the problem, but the odds of it being all the women in 17 cases just don't fly. Out of wedlock birth is the single biggest problem that Latin America faces in my opinion.

Oh, and MizBrown I agree with your views on the old Tea Partiers and Quaker philanders. I have spent 20 years debating and being abused by 20 something year old latin women, some of them so charming and beautiful that they stopped watches, and the last thing I want to do as I dive into middle age is having anything to do with any woman that enjoys Reggaeton and can no look text faster than a cheetah with a hotfoot outside of a business relationship. These young women sure are pretty and entertaining but they come with more grief than any old codger can possibly handle.