The clean end
When the dog got me up at Oh dark thrity for his usual trip outside, I should have realized he'd done something wrong. He hesitated to follow me, knowing he'd have to pass through my office to get to the door, and he knew that was the accident scene.
He eventually slunked past me and went out, but it was too dark to see what he'd done. After we'd gotten up a couple hours later and it was time to take my daughter to school, finally I saw it. One lone turd on the floor.
It had been months since he'd made this error - he's been so good about asking me to let him out. But he didn't ask last night as he usually does, so he stayed inside. Instead he left me his reminder on my office floor.
"Aw Prezly, no!" I said. He disappeared to the back of the house.
"What did he do?" asked my daughter.
I went to the kitchen and got a paper towel. Thinking this was a good time for a lesson on politics, I handed the paper towel to my daughter and said, "Here, pick it up by the clean end."
"What?"
"Decide which end is clean, and pick it up there," I said.
"But none of it is clean," she said.
"Exactly. But if you were politically correct, you'd choose one end, pretend it's clean, and pick it up there."
"Why?"
"That's what politicians or people who want money do. If they want money or votes from a turd, they pretend one end is clean enough to touch."
She didn't say anything, but I have a feeling she'll ask me about it tonight when I put her to bed.
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now dammit I am having to put in my auto correction that in my writings when I misspell my name.
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