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Thread: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

  1. #1
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    Default Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Toilet paper shortage in Caracas:
    http://news.yahoo.com/venezuelans-scrambling-scarce-toilet-paper-2029513...
    Clearly the working-class of Venezuela is ignoring its obligation to the supreme sacrifice of the Christ-like god-child, Commandante Jesu Cristo, Santo Hugo, el pajarito.
    All around the globe the downtrodden, oppressed, exploited masses of neo-liberal exploitation are calling out to their Venezuelan brothers and sisters ...
    "Comrades, hold firm to the Bolivarian principles of global liberation -- keep it in until you can scratch enough cash to catch a flight to Cuba! Wait until you land on the sacred soil of the capital of the world-wide struggle against American imperialism and colonialism. Only then may you be permitted to expel the toxin of North American consumerism".
    In other words, suck it up and smile until you can reach the workers' paradise of Havana and take a gigantic dump on the tarmac as soon as you land. Until then, do whatever you can to reduce the fibre in you diet. No blueberry muffins for the vanguard of the proletariat!

  2. #2
    Viejo del Foro Just Plain John Wayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Hahahaaha... We just use Corn Cob's in the South.... But then again the only time we evah had a shortage of them was near the end of the "War of Northern Aggression"

    What happened was we ran out of everything to "Chunck" at the "Yankee Invaders" and started using the corn cobs.. New or "Used" and soon ran out of them; what with being out manned something like 6 to 1.

    So that my friend is why General Robert E. Lee signed a treaty at Appomataox. He did not surrender his Sword. Hell he later stated had he known things would turn out the way they did he would have encouraged his people to plant more corn and throw the kernels away and save the cobs...

    SAVE YOUR CONFEDERATE COBS BOY'S.. THE SOUTH IS GONE RISE AGAIN....
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    I got a plan. Since US taxpayers help fund corn farmers, we take all the corn cobs left over and sell them to Venezuela. Get our money back, if not more.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    #2 takes over and they run out of toilet paper . . .

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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonh View Post
    I got a plan. Since US taxpayers help fund corn farmers, we take all the corn cobs left over and sell them to Venezuela. Get our money back, if not more.
    And it is a market for both the white corn cobs and the red corn cobs, Ya use a red one first, and then use a white one to see if ya need to use another red one...
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Quote Originally Posted by kwah2249 View Post
    #2 takes over and they run out of toilet paper . . .

  7. #7

    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    And it is a market for both the white corn cobs and the red corn cobs, Ya use a red one first, and then use a white one to see if ya need to use another red one...

    Thank you, you made my day with that one JPJW

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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Quote Originally Posted by Richit View Post
    And it is a market for both the white corn cobs and the red corn cobs, Ya use a red one first, and then use a white one to see if ya need to use another red one...

    Thank you, you made my day with that one JPJW
    When I heard the older ones refer to the "Pond" that affectionet name Sailors call the Atlantic Ocean as it being "Rougher than a Cob"

    I knew zackly what they meant.. It ain't a purdy thang...
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Boy has this thread been flushed down the crapper.

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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Many (a majority?) of people in the world don't use toilet paper to clean their shitty butt-holes. Water works better. No dingleberries. Practitioners use their left hand, and eat only with their right.

    Nor do the majority of Earth's folks sit on the ceramic throne to crap. Squatting to dump the solid waste is more natural. It opens the anal sphincter while the thighs apply pressure to the gut greatly aiding peristalsis.

    The Romans didn't used toilet paper - it wasn't invented yet - and they sure as hell didn't have New World corn cobs. So what did folk do before the 19th century? Check Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper
    I never met a Semite I didn't like.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Good Sh#%t Daddy-o...I forgot about the colored toilet paper they had when I was a Kid...Never tried a bidet..

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeh View Post
    Boy has this thread been flushed down the crapper.
    Well what did you expect? YOU started this Sh*t....
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



  13. #13
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    Default

    The solution is for Venezuelans to stop giving a sh*t.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonh View Post
    The solution is for Venezuelans to stop giving a sh*t.
    The Country has not the capsacity to feed it self and if ya don't eat, ya can't work and naturally ain't nothing gone be in the gut to come out....

    I might be a bit of a Simpleton in thinking this, but it looks like they are already on the road to recovering from this delima....
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



  15. #15

    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Solution is simple:

    Exchange oil for Cuban TP. The Cubans don't use the TP manufactured in Cuba so there is plenty of it available.

    It's brown in color, with some included wood chips (I $#!* you not, would I make something like that up)?

    But, isn't this what socialist solidarity is all about? It's one of the few things you CAN buy with the Cuban National Peso. Everything of value (like Charmin, for example), you buy with the Convertible Peso which is tied to the Yankee dollar (that has to smart,, yeah, the wood chips too, but that isn't what I meant).

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Bolivarian toilet paper: No sh*t!

    Socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

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