View Poll Results: Why did you move to Nicaragua?

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  • I moved here to live

    10 55.56%
  • I moved here to die

    3 16.67%
  • I moved here to escape the law

    1 5.56%
  • I don't know, I just ended up here.

    4 22.22%
  • Some other reason

    7 38.89%
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Thread: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

  1. #26

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Well,, I enjoyed the experience,, it's always fun learning new stuff.

    But,, remember, I got into this (and the chickens which I also have a shitload of) just to provide an income stream for Krisnia's studies in Leon.

    When that all went down the tube (and thank God it did,, very much a be careful what you wish for situation wrapped in an old man's fantasy),, I really have no use for all these pigs and chickens.

    There is no longer a point or purpose, and the pigs, particularly, can be hard work. The couple I raised for meat behind an electric fence were easy, and it was easy to butcher the smaller pig (200 pounds). The pork was very good and tasty, lean,, BUT

    The Nicaraguans prefer a fatter, greasier pig rather than the lean,, "other white meat" I was aiming for.

    Complicating things is my distance from a viable market. The campo peope eat little pork as it's considered expensive. It's a New Year's Eve treat. There seem to be two primary meals: Eggs, beans and rice, and tortillas, and a caldo, that generally incorporates a tough piece of chicken.

    There is little refrigeration here, and what little there is, is in the hands of the wealthier pulperias, who use it to cool gaseosa.


    Anyway, that's the short answer to "What happened with the pigs"?

  2. #27
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Live and learn, eh.

    I guess that's why I just want to sit on the front porch and play bad music, instead of trying to help ungrateful wretches who don't want anybody's help.

  3. #28

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Helping people can be a real drag. The longer I live here the less generous I become. It's a good transition, being generous is time consuming in addition to being expensive.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    ​Poster/bumper sticker from the 1970s

  4. #29
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Generous strangers are seen as free ATM machines that never run out of cash. Pretty soon there's a line around the block. Then you become Venezuela...

  5. #30

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Fiddle would be great up in the mountains but I'd recommend going Ukulele on the beach. You could work for tips and pick up beach girls.



    As for pigs not being good money, must be a campo thing where you are at. On the east side pigs are in demand.

  6. #31
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    I actually have a ukelele.

  7. #32

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by kwah2249 View Post
    Fiddle would be great up in the mountains but I'd recommend going Ukulele on the beach. You could work for tips and pick up beach girls.



    As for pigs not being good money, must be a campo thing where you are at. On the east side pigs are in demand.
    No,, pigs would be OK if you got into it,, I could have made some money.....

    But! Ukuleles don't smell. Ukuleles aren't muddy all the time,, you don't have to wear thigh high boots when you play a ukulele;

    Ukulele's don't squeal all the time

    Finally,, and most importantly:
    you are going to have a much better chance of picking up a beach girl with a ukulele than you are with a pig.

  8. #33
    Viejo del Foro Daddy-YO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    Finally,, and most importantly:
    you are going to have a much better chance of picking up a beach girl with a ukulele than you are with a pig.
    Remember that voluptuous babe Moonbeam McSwine?
    Reset your sights Mr. Pirate. Search the hills and hollows of Condega for the right gal. A pig lover. And grow together with all those piglets - once the joy of your life.
    I never met a Semite I didn't like.

  9. #34
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    I decided to make sure word gets around that we'll be breeding exotic snakes in our house. That should cut down on burglaries.

  10. #35

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonh View Post
    I decided to make sure word gets around that we'll be breeding exotic snakes in our house. That should cut down on burglaries.
    I'd suggest- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bothrops_asper - the Fer De Lance, shouldn't be to hard to find a few in Nica.

    Would be a good way to reduce burglaries and visitors . . .

    " Compared to the common lancehead, B. atrox, these snakes have been described as excitable and unpredictable when disturbed. They can, and often will, move very quickly,[2] usually opting to flee from danger,[9] but are capable of suddenly reversing direction to vigorously defend themselves. Adult specimens, when cornered and fully alert, should be considered dangerous. In a review of bites from this species suffered by field biologists, Hardy (1994) referred to it as the "ultimate pit viper"."

    "
    This species is irritable and fast-moving. It is also regarded as being more excitable and unpredictable than B. atrox. Its large size and habit of raising its head high off the ground can result in bites above the knee. It has also been observed to eject venom over a distance of at least 6 ft (1.8 m) in fine jets from the tips of its fangs (Mole, 1924) "


  11. #36

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    I went to a carpenter's shop today. As he opened his shop he tied his fighting cocks to the trees in his front yard each spaced so they could not reach one another because of the short lenght of the rope tied to one foot.

    How could you tie a ferdelance? There must be a way.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    ​Poster/bumper sticker from the 1970s

  12. #37
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    "Very carefully."

  13. #38

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by Daddy-YO View Post
    Remember that voluptuous babe Moonbeam McSwine?
    Reset your sights Mr. Pirate. Search the hills and hollows of Condega for the right gal. A pig lover. And grow together with all those piglets - once the joy of your life.

    Nah, I'm going to try and re-create the magic I once enjoyed with my ex-wife.

    She's a fine person, obviously tolerant beyond any right I have to expect. Intelligent, pretty, we have much in common, and have seen much of the world together.

    It's going to take some serious grovelling and begging, but it will be worth it. We were best friends for 35 years,,, in reality the last two or three years were a great experience,, living the Three's Company fantasy,, but they had no relevance.

    Of course,, I still have the pigs. The pork I raised turned out to be really good, probably the heavy corn diet and lack of exercise (campo pigs wander all day in search of a piece of garbage)

    I'm roasting a loin tomorrow night (have a freshly slaughtered chicken to roast tonight) and enjoying the company of Walking Man.

    It's a good life!

  14. #39
    Viejo del Foro Daddy-YO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    Nah, I'm going to try and re-create the magic I once enjoyed with my ex-wife.

    It's a good life!
    Follow your heart young man! And best of luck with the ex.
    I never met a Semite I didn't like.

  15. #40
    Viejo del Foro Daddy-YO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    I'm roasting a loin tomorrow night (have a freshly slaughtered chicken to roast tonight) and enjoying the company of Walking Man. It's a good life!
    Hey Pirate, good to see your feeding drlemcor. Even Thoreau left Walden on occasion to visit his mother in Concord for a square meal. Beans are only good for so many klicks . . . such is life, except in this small, imaginary town:


  16. #41

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Thank you for the encouragement. Things are looking good at the moment. I see a lot of crawling and begging in my future, but I think I can make it work. I've learned some serious life lessons.

    Walking man turned out to be an excellent cook as well as superior company. His Spanish is better than mine and he gets along well with the crew.

    Similar interests in films, books, politics, we have had a lot to talk about. Now I understand why I'm trying to re-create the relationship with my wife. I missed that intellectual stimulation. Life is more than a small butt and perky tits.

    In retrospect, things have worked out well for me. Perhaps there are guardian angels watching over us.

    Yesterday, oven roasted chicken breasts (Javier slaughtered 20 chickens for us) with carrots, potatoes, onions, fresh baked bread, key lime pudding (nothing to make the crust with), washed down with the local milk. We cut up one of the pig carcasses with a band saw, had our own bacon for breakfast. Need a smoker. Pork chops, ribs,,it all looks good. And there is still one complete pig in the bottom of the freezer. And twelve more on the hoof. Most of those will eventually sell,, they are excellent specimens.

    I'm sad that I'm leaving.
    A long course of amoxicillin finally knocked down the pneumonia that has been dogging me for over a year. I would get better, relapse, get better,, but always slowly going downhill. Part of it was burning the candle at both ends, but a lot of it was the infection. I suspect that the inflammation will take a while to subside. I'm still short of breath, where I used to tramp up and down the farm with little effort.

    Walking Man had an interesting theory, that when the lungs are compromised, the brain is deprived of the oxygen that it needs. Could explain some of the dementia in old people.




    We decided to keep the sow,, we're going to put a gancho on her (that wood necklace you see on the pigs in the campo that keeps them from crossing fences),, and let her roam. I have a lot of rich pasture. I feel more comfortable with Jeff here to make decisions. Javier claims that he can keep her healthy with a quintal of corn and concentrado over the next six months. Just enough grain to supplement the pasture. She'll have barrancas to wallow in. I'm thinking of turning one of her chanchitos loose with her,, so she has company. Pigs are very social. The problem is keeping the smaller pig on our side of the fence. People have begun to plant beans and corn, and those young plantings will be attractive to the pigs.

    FLASH!! The Casa de Vagos is supposedly up for sale. Pics are available on some of my earlier postings. Price for the house and the 1/4 Mz it sits on: $1000
    Spring water,, latrine,, electric,, turnkey,, perfect for some guy with a small pension. Put another $5K into it,, indoor plumbing, concrete floors,, lights and outlets,, and you'd have a decent place to live.

    We've had some beautiful, sunny days interspersed with rain, mostly late afternoon, or night. Temps are mild, with an occasional cold spike right before dawn. Great sleeping weather. So incredibly quiet here (except for that damn rooster).

    I decided not to plant this year. I've become convinced that I can buy corn and beans for less than I can plant, harvest, and process them. Part of the problem is, I pay my people too well. We are draining the lake (not easy, water comes in as fast as it goes out) so I can install a submersible pump, and we are going to try some summer planting with irrigation next summer.

    There are only 6KM of unpaved road left to the farm ,, once that gets paved the tourists will come. I DO have some beautiful views, a mild climate, good water. There are any number of good building sites available for someone who appreciates a cooler climate, and can live without the bustle of Granada or SJdS. No mosquitos, and nothing else that bites. The air is always fresh and clean, we have no dust or other pollution. And there are the 40 acres of the farm to wander. This MIGHT be a business model that makes more sense than pigs.

    Still, we are SO excited about our trip to Estelí today. WooWoo, the big city. Condega DOES have what you need to exist, a Pali, even an Eskimo vendor, nice town square,, but yet . . .. lacking . .

    And the beat goes on.

  17. #42
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Life is more than a small butt and perky tits.
    Aw, say it ain't so!

  18. #43
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    Life is more than a small butt and perky tits.
    Cause it's just a bowl of cherries. (Maybe better not to mix those metaphors.)

    Hey, that line stopped me too. I'd like permission to quote it on appropriate occasions. Would it fly in FB? (Naw, people'd think I was talking about Zuck's wife.)


    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    I'm sad that I'm leaving.
    Please explain. You talking temporarily or what?


    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    FLASH!! The Casa de Vagos is supposedly up for sale. Pics are available on some of my earlier postings. Price for the house and the 1/4 Mz it sits on: $1000
    Spring water,, latrine,, electric,, turnkey,, perfect for some guy with a small pension.
    Starting a commune? A collective of gringo farmers? Posted elsewhere this could create a ruckus, but here on TRN, you may just end up with Donistan as a neighbor.

    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    And the beat goes on.
    I never met a Semite I didn't like.

  19. #44

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    is there anyone here on this board that DIDNT leave a wife/children/family/past life behind in search of the young nicaraguan girl with the small butt and perky tits?

  20. #45
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by vinyljunkie77003 View Post
    is there anyone here on this board that DIDNT leave a wife/children/family/past life behind in search of the young nicaraguan girl with the small butt and perky tits?
    Or may do so in the future?

  21. #46
    The Bard of Jinotega MizBrown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by vinyljunkie77003 View Post
    is there anyone here on this board that DIDNT leave a wife/children/family/past life behind in search of the young nicaraguan girl with the small butt and perky tits?
    Not everyone is an old male fool here.

  22. #47
    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by MizBrown View Post
    Not everyone is an old male fool here.

    Yes, you are correct.....some of them are young....butt the rest does apply.
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  23. #48

    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    I don't know, I simply don't recall!
    Quote Originally Posted by vinyljunkie77003 View Post
    is there anyone here on this board that DIDNT leave a wife/children/family/past life behind in search of the young nicaraguan girl with the small butt and perky tits?

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    ​Poster/bumper sticker from the 1970s

  24. #49
    The Bard of Jinotega MizBrown's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Corn Tom View Post
    Yes, you are correct.....some of them are young....butt the rest does apply.
    Um, no. Most lesbians tend to be way more cautious about who they fall in love with -- or the young chickies would be flirting more with the old gringas. Some straight women marry the young boys -- and I'm watching one of them to see how that goes long term. Not everyone is MALE here, even in this group.

  25. #50
    Active TRN Member RGV AG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Poll: Why are you in Nicaragua?

    Quote Originally Posted by MizBrown View Post
    Not everyone is an old male fool here.

    Post of the year on TRN.....The best thing that can happen to an Old Gringo is to have been bitten/stung by a Brown Breasted Mattress Thrasher as a Young Gringo.

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