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Thread: Brother-outlaw

  1. #1
    Viejo del Foro Daddy-YO's Avatar
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    Default Brother-outlaw

    Technically he's not my brother-in-law. He never married my wife's sister. Together ten years they have two children, but he barely supports anybody but himself, which is to say his drinking habit and what was once a nice motorcycle. Sis has a clerical job with the local zona franca industry and she's quite responsible and diligent. They both graduated from UCAN, but she practically wrote his thesis for him. He has had several employment-type jobs. He didn't last that long with Claro cause he was filching free calls for all his friends (he grew up here in Leon). From there to a high-end hotel in Managua that soon ended for the same reason (using their switchboard). Then sis managed to get him hired at the zona franca (she was so well respected). He lasted a few bumpy years. Coming on to the assembly-line girls working late caused demerits. Then he got unceremoniously swept out due to some nefarious scam or other.

    He occasionally did some whoring as befits a kept vago 'husband' after a night drinking with the boys. It's practically tradition here in Nicaragua. But that caused her to explode with hurt in public a time or two. She got her tubes tied after number two. Then she started stepping out on him. She's a good-looking, intelligent young woman, however she knows no self-respecting single Nica would take her serious because she has two kids. The fling with the Mexican 'gentleman' from the zona franca looked serious for a while, until he went back to his family. Soon bro-outlaw became jealous & enraged at the thought of losing such a good thing and wheedled his way back. She took the father of her children back. They'd be lovey-dovey for a bit, then they'd fight (minor violence, not major), and part, but soon they'd get back together. This went on for several reiterations. The kids would suffer. My mother-in-law, their grandma, by normal Nica custom, would have taken care of them, but she has been gravely ill with Parkinson's. Grandpa died a few years back from diabetes complications, while recovering from tuberculosis, addicted to a CNS pain-killer (over-the-counter). Other family - especially her brother who's a remarkable got-sober story - would help with the kids but it was spotty cause of school, work, &c.

    At this point bro-in-question was out of work but busier than ever. Over the years I've known him, he was always on the go. A small, thin, nervously-energetic guy with a surprisingly charming personality and a cell phone that was always ringing The only times I saw him sit a while was with a bottle in front of him. Busy, and making good money, though it got gone as soon as it appeared (many debts). He mostly sold smartphones, but also laptops & motorcycles, advertizing with a pseudonym on FB. I never asked him where he got the stuff. (I really didn't want to know. Besides I expect he would have lied. Obviously I suspected he was fencing stolen goods.) I'd joke that he ought to put a neon sign outside cause clients were visiting so frequently. Inevitably he got caught. A big, overweight college student came to the apartments with two cops cause his iPhone's GPS tracker led him there. Some 15-20 fellow student were gathered outside. The cops found numerous smartphones in bro-outlaw's backpack. The big student found his. After asking and being told OK, the cops found more loot in his apt., including a pretty new Dell laptop. They took him and the stuff to the station. Meanwhile sis-in-law had gone to the station to plead his release. That night they did let him go, to appear the next day with receipts for everything, which they kept. Needless to add, oulaw bro has deep contacts and they came up with receipts for all that stuff. Back at the station, after checking all out, the police - in a counter-sting - said he'd have to pay them half the value of it all to get it back. Naturally he wouldn't, because he couldn't. Turns out his uncle is a cop at another station - strings got pulled and he got all back that wasn't claimed by other students with proof.

    This could be a happy ending, Nica style. But the screw keeps turning. Out-bro got in-law-sis' phone and found love notes. Screams, slaps, ultimatums and he left, packing more together to take this time. He's been back a couple times to see his kids, but no overnights. Sis has got a new beau, a stocky, muscular Nica. I met him - his handshake is a knuckle dislocator, very atypical here. So what happened next was not unexpected. After a joint, very happy, invitations-only birthday party for both kids, with a professional clown, favors for all and two piñatas(Mickey & Minnie), the hard core stayed for some serious Saturday nite intoxicating. Out-bro wasn't there, and knuckle-cruncher showed up for the serious boozing. Later that night out-bro comes in, a little soused. Knuckles is sicced on him like a slavering bulldog. He slams him against a wall, his skull making an unpleasant sound, and then gets him in a strong-arm headlock. Sis is yelling to throttle her no good ex-mate. Meanwhile the other women present are screaming, trying to pull them apart. Out-bro ends up on the driveway blubbering, crying loudly "She's my woman!", though the opposite message was clearly received. All this in front of their son who just turned 4.

    A few days later out-bro came with a small moving truck and a couple friends to take all HIS furniture. Sis wasn't home. She knew he was coming and stayed away. So now they're separated - Nica style, no lawyers, no official agreement. Will he help support his kids? A little, I'd guess - to be able to see them. But paying as little as she'll let him get away with. A 'sense of responsibilty' is too foreign a concept to act on this poor man's conscience. However, his name is on their birth certificates and that's ammo enough these days, even in Nicaragua, to rattle his cage. Still, you can't get blood from a stone, as they say.

    I'll update this saga if/when there are appropriate developments.
    I never met a Semite I didn't like.

  2. #2
    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Great story.....as the world turns.
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  3. #3
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    I have one of those who's headed in that direction.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    I think there is a psychological term for them that translates something like "boy-men". Only their mothers love them.
    We have one , too.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"


  5. #5

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Nica justice,, cops get new smart phones and laptops (how else are they going to get them on their salary??), everyone else has given up long ago on getting their stuff back.

    In terms of what can they do to him,, pretty much the same here in the US. No proof de nada.

    The victim of course is your wife's sister. She'll never see justice.

    Why not try to bring her to the US ??
    Plenty of work now, amnestia coming up, she sounds like that she would prosper anywhere.
    Kids are still young enough to start over.



    Family is family, even if it's an uncle.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    and is the US the dumping ground for everybody else's problems?

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"


  7. #7
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Quote Originally Posted by el duende grande View Post
    and is the US the dumping ground for everybody else's problems?
    The US is the world's septic tank, apparently. We convert the world's shit into fertile soil. Sometimes, anyway. Some of it stays shit forever.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Quote Originally Posted by el duende grande View Post
    and is the US the dumping ground for everybody else's problems?
    My thought was bring the girl, leave the guy. We don't need any more losers.
    Unfortunately, the idea becomes infinitely more complicated when there are children.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    and the minute she arrives he will be pumping her up with messages to bring him up.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"


  10. #10
    Viejo del Foro Daddy-YO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    I doubt that sis-in-law would - if she could - go to work in the USA. It's inconceivable to ask a loving mother to leave her children, one still a baby, even if she's a working woman. And papa out-bro would not give permission, and, without it Nica migracion would not let her take her own two kids out of the country. Remember it's his name on their birth certificates. She's not concerned that he'd try to kidnap 'em - he doesn't want the responsibility (cost), nor any encombrance on his ability to function as a free, single male in a land where a lot of young women say yes. So she's stuck and she knows it.

    Besides, there are more people who depend on her for food & shelter. Six live with her: her two plus two daughters of an older, third sis that lives in CR, her ailing mother, and her younger brother. CR-sis wires her half the rent + more. Her bro attends UNAN and receives a stipend from INSS because of his age at the time of his father's death. The G-Ma, being a widow, also gets some support from INSS. Of course, my wife & I help, but our focus is on our three kids. In sum it makes for a functional family getting-by. When you see all sitting around together in the shade talking, gossiping, or just listening, recalling past times, or cracking wise - without any booze at all - you realize this ragged family still has some soul-curing magic going for it. Sis knows it intuitively and depends on it to keep her together through the trying times. She also realizes that to give it up for better money would incur a life-wrenching loss.
    I never met a Semite I didn't like.

  11. #11
    Active TRN Member RGV AG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Quote Originally Posted by Daddy-YO View Post
    I doubt that sis-in-law would - if she could - go to work in the USA. It's inconceivable to ask a loving mother to leave her children, one still a baby, even if she's a working woman. And papa out-bro would not give permission, and, without it Nica migracion would not let her take her own two kids out of the country. Remember it's his name on their birth certificates. She's not concerned that he'd try to kidnap 'em - he doesn't want the responsibility (cost), nor any encombrance on his ability to function as a free, single male in a land where a lot of young women say yes. So she's stuck and she knows it.

    Besides, there are more people who depend on her for food & shelter. Six live with her: her two plus two daughters of an older, third sis that lives in CR, her ailing mother, and her younger brother. CR-sis wires her half the rent + more. Her bro attends UNAN and receives a stipend from INSS because of his age at the time of his father's death. The G-Ma, being a widow, also gets some support from INSS. Of course, my wife & I help, but our focus is on our three kids. In sum it makes for a functional family getting-by. When you see all sitting around together in the shade talking, gossiping, or just listening, recalling past times, or cracking wise - without any booze at all - you realize this ragged family still has some soul-curing magic going for it. Sis knows it intuitively and depends on it to keep her together through the trying times. She also realizes that to give it up for better money would incur a life-wrenching loss.
    Amen, Brother Daddy. Well said boss.
    A

  12. #12

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Quote Originally Posted by RGV AG View Post
    Amen, Brother Daddy. Well said boss.
    A
    So true.
    Money isn't everything.
    In fact, it's nothing compared to family.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Good for her if she wants to raise her kids, but the north is full of kids who were dumped by moms who left. Some send money, some don't. Many play dumb, marry abroad and never come back unless they get dumped. Those that want to stay in touch can nowadays with the internet and whatsapp.

    One of the most successful in my family was a double dumpee--his parents ran in opposite directions when he was born and left him with an aunt in a household of drunks and druggies. He found his way into one of the anti-poverty religions and has done well so far. He has a good job fn , but he signed up for a class in photography so I gave him one of my old dslr's. Next thing I knew he got paid for doing a wedding. Go getters are go getters!

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"


  14. #14

    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Quote Originally Posted by el duende grande View Post
    Good for her if she wants to raise her kids, but the north is full of kids who were dumped by moms who left. Some send money, some don't. Many play dumb, marry abroad and never come back unless they get dumped. Those that want to stay in touch can nowadays with the internet and whatsapp.

    One of the most successful in my family was a double dumpee--his parents ran in opposite directions when he was born and left him with an aunt in a household of drunks and druggies. He found his way into one of the anti-poverty religions and has done well so far. He has a good job fn , but he signed up for a class in photography so I gave him one of my old dslr's. Next thing I knew he got paid for doing a wedding. Go getters are go getters!


    What see more here is, mothers who miss their children terribly, men who eventually establish a (temporary)relationship in the US but maintain contact with extended family in Mexico ( don't know of any other Nicaraguans here in Tucson, but there are plenty of Mexicans).

    WhatsApp is what Ariana uses to stay in contact with family in Nicaragua,, and it does make a huge difference. Videos particularly bring tears to Ariana, but the assurance that Sebastian is healthy and growing well means everything. It's not the same as being there, holding your child, but it helps a lot.

    And clearly, the money she sends back helps. Sebastian is a full four inches taller than his cousins, who were born almmost a year earlier. He's stocky, listo, and has avoided many of the ills that plague Nicaraguan children in the campo, and ultimately stunts their growth and mental development.


    On the fotos,, taking fotos in the campo and providing prints used to be a big money maker. Jayro did a bit of that. Now that more and more have smart phones, they keep their fotos on their smart fones. But, prints are still really big with the older people who cherish what can be a rare commodity.

  15. #15
    Viejo del Foro Daddy-YO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother-outlaw

    Quote Originally Posted by el duende grande View Post
    One of the most successful in my family was a double dumpee-
    It's great to read a survivor's success story. Praise clearly goes to "the anti-poverty religion" - it makes me wonder how - but evidently his genetic make-up must also be equipped with self-correcting drivers. And praise to you for showing you had faith in him.

    The flip-side are those kids lost to lives of crime: read "MS-13’s Satanic History" in today's Washington Post.

    There is little question the USA must get smart about immigrants. But don't forget about reciprocity: ex-pats here (& there in LAm) are immigrants too. And those who do well in America are goodwill ambassadors. Goodwill don't hurt.
    I never met a Semite I didn't like.

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