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Thread: The last time I got hit

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    Dog Whisperer cookshow's Avatar
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    Default The last time I got hit

    Was not the first time I had been hit, but this 1 was bad. My big dog had ate him, but i was still on the ground. Best Dog ever he lays next to me has his head on my shoulders. I am bad fucked up, I can't get up. Ended up laying there an hour or so, I am bleeding hard, I had stuck a dried plantain leaf to my head.

    Lot more to this story, poco a poco.
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    Never mind.
    Last edited by Mikeh; 08-04-2021 at 02:03 PM.

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    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeh View Post
    Is your phone on? Is there any way we can phone someone to come and pick you up to take you to a medical post? 12.25 p.m. Weds. My number is 8403 5240 claro.

    Mikeh....it is a STORY!
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

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    Dog Whisperer cookshow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    Sorry about that, guess should have mentioned was a few years back.
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    As I laid there that hour or so lot of thoughts crossing my mind (mostly, I need a drink), I tried to get up a few times with no success, my head was spinning. I finally did get up, was not far from the house so I made it ok, sat on the edge of the porch, no idea if was 10 minutes or 2 hours. Now under the porch light and I can see what I assumed, I am covered in blood. Finally was able to get up again and got inside, got to the mirror, shit it is bad.

    In my typical fashion, I mixed a drink, sat down and trying to think. Is too late to go to Hospital, be no Dr until morning. I have patched myself a lot over the years and was about to do it again. I find some Super Glue, wash the wound with peroxide a few times, put on some triple antibiotic, rub it in good, sit down for another drink. I was feeling better than 1 would expect and the booze was helping. Got the mirror off the wall and sat it on the table and sealed the split in my head with super glue, of course it ain't pretty but it's sealed, was also some duct tape involved in all this.

    Had a few more drinks and went to bed, woke in the morning and still felt better than you would expect, had a few drinks and headed to the hospital for stitches. The dr, friend of mine says wtf have you done, told him give me some stitches, he is in awe, where did you learn this shit, man you are crazy, who super glues themselves. After looking at it he says I don't need any stitches, the glue will work.

    Until I got into a taxi for the hospital I had not realized the real damage, I had not talked to any one, my speech was all messed up, I had to really concentrate to get words out. Dr said I looked ok, other than the obvious. He shrugged, give it a day or 2.

    That day went home and sat on porch and talked to Mr Dog, and it was hard, as the days passed I was getting a little better, finally worked through it but I still have moments when I am at a loss for words. The biggest long term effect was it messed up my depth perception, I am scared of stairs, things like that.

    I took a hard lick that night, but what goes around comes around.....
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    As soon as I got in from Hospital I started emailing DR and Nurse Friends, consensus was what's done is done, if not feel like any swelling than wait and see. They all know I am long way from real medical help.


    Pain was less than I expected of course the pills and booze were helping that a good bit.


    After a couple of days my patch job actually looked pretty good, Hell I was proud of myself. And even Prouder I had not glued a finger to my face during the surgery.


    Always keep Super Glue on hand, it comes in Handy. I put my foot back together with it another time, I filleted my foot and I patched it up like a champ, I walked all over on that bloody nub.

    Lot more to the story, but need think about how to word it as it gets a bit delicate.
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    As the days passed my speech therapist (Mr Dog) seemed to think I was making progress, or at least that was the way I interpreted his looks. I was feeling pretty good.

    About 2 weeks later I was closing up the house, around 9. I had just slid into the bed when the Dogs went off. Shit they ran right to where I knew they would, I had a pile of big plantain ready to cut right next to the house, and most presold.


    Shit, Shit, Shit, i jump up slide into my boots and grab my machete and my headlamp. i am out the door trying to get the lamp on. Mr Dog is eating someone, and you can hear it.

    Low and behold, who do we have here... Mr Dog is on him like a Tiger, his Mouth full of this guy. I saw who hit me that night and guess what, he is back but this time I am on top.

    A lot things go through your head, I am holding a razor sharp machete, my Dog is eating this guy, I been having to use a Dog Speech Therapist, I still got a scab on my face, I am tired of this shit. Decision time, which side of the machete, I call Mr Dog off and jumps to my side, I took that machete, flipped it hit guy across the back of the head with the dull side, kinda thought his head would split like a melon but it didn't.

    The next 12 hrs are where the fun begins....
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    Thought I had killed him, but he had a pulse. Went up to the house grabbed my phone and made a call. Within Minutes 1 has arrived, the other in route. I had grabbed some rope out of the bodega when I got the phone. My guy is saying what is going on, told him come see. His face lit up, you got him, yes I did.

    I say best we tie him and drag him up by the house, I don't want to lose him. We drag him up my road, get up to the house, told my guy to get a beer, I made a drink. 2nd arrives, he says same thing, you got him, yes I did. Told him to get a beer.

    Thief is starting to make noise, party is about to get started. I go in and grab the Louisville Slugger I keep next to the bed. The Ballgame is about to begin.

    I will spare you the boring details, the game went into extra innings, then he spent the night tied to a tree, and at daylight another Ballgame was played, it too went into extra innings.


    And there is more......
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Dog Whisperer cookshow's Avatar
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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    The batting that night was strong, but nothing compared to the next morning.


    Now there is a problem, what to do with this tired ass pitcher. Well I threw out an option and got vetoed. Well we got to get him away from where he is. Few neighbors had heard about the ballgame and had come to watch a bit, things are getting a bit hot at the Ballpark, but they all know the score.


    We manage to move him far away from the Ballpark, left some rope with him in case he needed it.


    Crazy Jackass, not 2 weeks later I was sitting on my porch at 5am drinking coffee, and I hear someone shout me, wtf I think, what could it be this time of day, figured someone made dead. Everyone knows I am up at that hour but never come by. I go over to the fence and recognize the guy, he works for a friend, He says they need you in the High Bush, on the Island when we say "need" it means no questions asked, same way I had got 2 guys within minutes few weeks earlier.


    Go in house put on my boots, and a shirt, grab my machete, and headlamp, off we go. We get up there and here is that stupid son of bitch on the ground. They caught him thiefing plantain, 1 of the workers had hit him hard with a 2x2 and just at quick glance it looks serious.

    I motion my friend with my head, let's take a walk, I don't like to talk in front of an audience, and he had several guys there. I told him I think he is bad messed up. I asked him if he trusted all these guys, he said he thinks he is ok, Still dark outside, ask him if he has a plan, says not really, why he had called for me.

    Shaking my head, told him to mix me a drink, let me think.
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    So I am drinking Guaro and Highly Questionable luke warm water. I am a little pissed off I got mixed up in this, I cannot understand why he has so many people around, someone will talk. So I tell him walk me back down and we can talk. I had figured out a way he could slide out of this, if he could trust everyone that was there, He says he can, I tell him I was never there and everyone there must understand that.

    Is Daylight by now as we got far away from the others I told him what to do. I went home, made a real drink, with ice and safe water, got in the hammock.


    A month or so later the thief ended up making dead, That day in the High Bush he had been paralyzed as a result of falling from an Avocado tree, and in the fall had bit off a good bit of his tongue, unfortunately he could not read nor write and without his tongue could not talk so that is how the history is written.
    Last edited by cookshow; 08-05-2021 at 06:47 AM.
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    An excellent telling, Cookshow. Pushed me to retrieve the single-malt I tucked behind my shirts.

    Life is tough on the island. But, in my estimation of what you relate, ultimately fair.

    Still, what a burden to carry, to personalize: a fellow islander's thieving, assault and his final justice.

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    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    Sometimes ya gotta thin the herd, eh?
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  13. #13

    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Corn Tom View Post
    Sometimes ya gotta thin the herd, eh?


    Every life has value

    NOT!

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    Default Re: The last time I got hit

    This guy was the biggest thief on the Island and his days had always been numbered. He was slippery, my dog had got him a few times. His parents were real good people and I had reached out to them a year or 2 before, tell him stay off my land, not much they could do.

    He hit me for $1,000's over the years, was same all over, He was Famous. Even Famous People die....
    ‎"You know what you say when people tell you you can't do something? Fool, shut your mouth up!"
    Ernie K Doe

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