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Thread: Embarrassing stories involving spanish

  1. #1
    Fightin Irish JackMcG's Avatar
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    Default Embarrassing stories involving spanish

    A couple years ago when my spanish was much worse than it is now, I was talking with a waitress in the US at a diner. She was from southern Mexico and her english was as bad as my spanish. She was telling me that she was about to take a trip home to visit her family in Mexico. When I was leaving the restaurant, I want to wish her a good trip which in spanish is "que tenga un buen viaje" .. however with my poorly spoken spanish in full swing, I told her... "que tenga un buen viejo"... which means... "have a good old man".... She couldn't stop herself from laughing and I felt about a foot tall....
    "If you ain't bleeding, you ain't working!"

  2. #2
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Freudian slip?

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    Fightin Irish JackMcG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    Freudian slip?
    Well, she was cute!
    "If you ain't bleeding, you ain't working!"

  4. #4

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    ...a bit embarrassing but I still can not seem to pronunciate "peine" (comb for your hair), it always comes out as "pene" (Penis).

    The pronunciation makes all the difference at a pulperia when you are pointing to a comb in the display case at about waste level!

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    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default I always wondered ...

    when Maria's mother would come out for breakfast while staying at at my house in the US and I would say in my "best" Spanish "Buenos Dios" .... well she just seemed a bit put off .....

    I was later corrected.
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  6. #6

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    The other real embarrassing incident happened 2 years ago when I was parking my truck at my wifes friends house. We do not have a garage in our house, so when I go away to the states I need to stash it somewhere. In anycase I parked it beside the wall of her property and on the other side of the wall is the sidewalk, so naturally people are assholes around here and throw big rocks over the wall at the house.

    My my wifes friends brother and her friends father, was telling me where to park it and I had a cheap mattress (colchon) I was going to place in the front window so it would not get hit by a rock. problem was that I had to exit to the back of the truck because they have these huge vicious dogs to the front of the vehicle. At this point I will mention that this guy swings the other way, he likes dudes and guys that like guys are sometimes called cochon.

    I ended up asking the father to put his son up on the window (unintentionally), as I said Cochon and not Colchon. He looked at me a bit stunned and then I realized what I said and said that I meant colchon.

  7. #7
    Fightin Irish JackMcG's Avatar
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    Had a problem with that word a time or two myself 3F.... one time I asked someone in the downtown of Granada where I could "buy a cochon".... when I was lookng for a mattress..... good thing my wife to be was along to save me!
    "If you ain't bleeding, you ain't working!"

  8. #8
    Viejo del Foro bikingo's Avatar
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    Without tooting my own horn, I rarely stick my foot in it but last year we were in Grenada and stopped at the mercado to pick up a couple of things to send home to family in Oregon. Well my mom loves those little round wooden cups that Nicas use to drink tiste. They're made out of the Jicara gourd. Well in the mercado I could only find really plain ones without the colorful designs so I asked the lady ( No tienes la jicara pitada?). Jicara also means face so my wife, kids and cuinados are rolling. I instantly realized my mistake but the lady would have none of it, I left with her simmering scowl burning my backside.
    Another happened years ago in Corinto where we used to run commercial fishing boats out of. I always accompanied my crew to the mercado to provision the boat with produce and meats or else I would eat gallo pinto and chicken for a week. Well we were passing the meat vendors and the flies and skinny dogs were outnumbering the chops about ten to one so I made what I thought was a whispered aside to one of my guys about the dogs not looking to bad compared to what was for sale. The most enormous woman/ carnicera lunged across the table at us and chased us out of the mercado waving a bloody meat cleaver and screaming ("aqui solo asamos los Gringos and vende-patrias"). My crew guys said later she was much scarier than any Hind gunship.

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    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    I was shopping for a belt in the Masaya market and asked the girl if she had one in a lighter color, but I said, "mas ligera." My wife got pissed at me because she said that means I wanted the girl to hurry up.

  10. #10

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    Last week I was in Houston, sleeping in a hanger, on a cot, with 30 other people. I woke up to the sensation of crapping on myself, but it turned out to be just a really loud fart.
    Last edited by thunderdial; 09-24-2008 at 01:49 PM.

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    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thunderdial View Post
    Last week I was in Houston, sleeping in a hanger, on a cot, with 30 other people. I woke up to the sensation of crapping on myself, but it turned out to be just a fart.
    So......

    If you enjoyed the sensation, would that make you a pedo phile?

  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    So......

    If you enjoyed the sensation, would that make you a pedo phile?
    I honestly don't know! Let's ask the expert:

    http://phil-hughes.com/

  13. #13
    Viejo del Foro Just Plain John Wayne's Avatar
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    one feller came in and wanted to buy some ice, and I thought he was drunk with the way he acted, I told him to get out you drunk.....

    In Creole mixed English, he said...I'm not Bolo (drunk)....Poor thing was retarded, or born just not quite right, Dam, and not the river kind....I felt lower than Whale $hit....
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



  14. #14
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thunderdial View Post
    I honestly don't know! Let's ask the expert:

    http://phil-hughes.com/
    Great, after I just posted something about not libeling people!

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Plain John Wayne View Post
    one feller came in and wanted to buy some ice, and I thought he was drunk with the way he acted, I told him to get out you drunk.....

    In Creole mixed English, he said...I'm not Bolo (drunk)....Poor thing was retarded, or born just not quite right, Dam, and not the river kind....I felt lower than Whale $hit....
    Yeah, that's a tough one. On Christmas eve, I congratulated and asked the cashier at Walgreens if she knew if it was a boy or a girl yet. Yeah, turned out she wasn't pregnant.
    Last edited by thunderdial; 09-24-2008 at 01:59 PM.

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    Great, after I just posted something about not libeling people!
    People who are experts about pedophiles aren't necessarily pedophiles themselves. Sure, it's statistically rarer than winning the lottery, but there are a few.

  17. #17

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    Sorry everyone, I just noticed that it was embarrassing stories in spanish. It just says "embarrassing stories..." on the index page. I promise to be on topic next time.

  18. #18
    Viejo del Foro Just Plain John Wayne's Avatar
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    I know TD, all house painters are not drunks....There are exceptions to the rules....

    I made the same mistake TD,,, off topic agin...
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



  19. #19

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    Well, knowing quiet well that my spanish is limited, to friends.........I express that my sapnish is perfect........it's just that most people do not understand me?

    A bit back the wife and I were in Mexico, and out of curiosity, many people would inquire of me, estas Americano? I would respond, no estoy un mericon, soy un tejano. My wife let me continue this for two weeks and then asked of me..........do you know what you have been saying?

    May face was a wee bit red.........but yet my spanish has not improved.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by robertharvey View Post
    Well, knowing quiet well that my spanish is limited, to friends.........I express that my sapnish is perfect........it's just that most people do not understand me?

    A bit back the wife and I were in Mexico, and out of curiosity, many people would inquire of me, estas Americano? I would respond, no estoy un mericon, soy un tejano. My wife let me continue this for two weeks and then asked of me..........do you know what you have been saying?

    May face was a wee bit red.........but yet my spanish has not improved.
    I suppose she was afraid that there might be a day when you venture off on your own without her Now that Fiesta! Fiesta! song is stuck in my head.

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    Viejo del Foro Just Plain John Wayne's Avatar
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    Default So Down South Bob...

    Quote Originally Posted by robertharvey View Post
    Well, knowing quiet well that my spanish is limited, to friends.........I express that my sapnish is perfect........it's just that most people do not understand me?

    A bit back the wife and I were in Mexico, and out of curiosity, many people would inquire of me, estas Americano? I would respond, no estoy un mericon, soy un tejano. My wife let me continue this for two weeks and then asked of me..........do you know what you have been saying?

    May face was a wee bit red.........but yet my spanish has not improved.
    Has finaly pulled his head out of the sand.....

    And started posting on here......

    Come on you 'ole Cowboy turned Beach Bum, I know you have a lot to talk about.....

    Even if it is about the Chiwawa Dog......

    Relax and let the words flow like you do in front of Gaston's meat market....
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



  22. #22

    Default Re: Embarrassing stories involving spanish

    I also did the cochon/colchon thing when I went out to buy things for a house. The story traveled faster than I did-stall to stall-in the Masaya market. Of course I made it worse by trying to explain that it wa something that you slept on.

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    Fightin Irish JackMcG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Embarrassing stories involving spanish

    Quote Originally Posted by carolphalie View Post
    I also did the cochon/colchon thing when I went out to buy things for a house. The story traveled faster than I did-stall to stall-in the Masaya market. Of course I made it worse by trying to explain that it wa something that you slept on.
    :LMAO:
    ..Btw, I love the Mayasa market ....not the new old market, the old new market!
    "If you ain't bleeding, you ain't working!"

  24. #24

    Default Re: Embarrassing stories involving spanish

    Quote Originally Posted by carolphalie View Post
    I also did the cochon/colchon thing when I went out to buy things for a house. The story traveled faster than I did-stall to stall-in the Masaya market. Of course I made it worse by trying to explain that it wa something that you slept on.
    hahaha, ashame no one has that on tape!

  25. #25

    Default Re: Embarrassing stories involving spanish

    Quote Originally Posted by JackMcG View Post
    :LMAO:
    ..Btw, I love the Mayasa market ....not the new old market, the old new market!
    I have made a lot of good contacts at the Bus Terminal market in Masaya. Many of the people working here are directly related to many of those creating the merchandise (unlike at markets like Huembes in Managua). For that, No "middleman reason" prices can be so cheap, and if you want something very original crafted, just ask. Theres a young lady that I buy quite a bit of wooden gifts from, her father has made several unique pieces for me and they were not a dime more than those you see in the market.

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