Controlling your own property

[Jonh]

My wife isn't much into TRN. I suspect she thinks there isn't much she can teach a gringo (I'm evidence of that ), and doesn't think she has anything to learn from us really clever people chatting away at each other.

But I mentioned to her some of the problems some of you have had with farm neighbors, and she knew right away how to deal with it. Her family has gone through it too, with their farms.

It seems the only thing they will listen to is a physical threat, coupled with the means and obvious intent to carry it out. Think wild west, or the dark hollows of West Virginia here. JW knows it's true.

Her uncle had a land dispute, and told the neighbors if he found his cows on his land again, they were his and he would slaughter and eat them. It worked. Another relative had problems with the neighbor's pigs getting at the crops. He bought some ripe bananas and put poison in them. No more pig problem. Her grandfather had a problem with campesinos cutting through his land, so after building a solid high fence and gate, he told them if he saw them on his land he would shoot them. No more trespassing.

The modern nuanced, peace-loving gringo girly-man who thinks he can get along by being nice (Peter Christopher) isn't going to make it in rural Nicaragua. It's that simple. You on TRN already knew that though; I'm not talking about you.

And that's her two centavos' worth of advice, passed along through my fingers and keyboard. I personally believe the advice is spot-on.

[robertharvey]

Very good advice! Nice don't work.

[El Greco]

That's how it really is, sometimes you have to make your own law

[catahoula fan]

Sorry to disagree, John, but your wife is talking about Nica to Nica. There are a different set of rules here for Gringos. Maybe one just needs a Nica inlaw or friend to take care of the nasty neighbors, but personal experience has shown us that a Gringo taking on a neighbor problem only gets the corrupt police in the area to come down on you hard. When the law threatens to kill you it's time to get outa' Dodge! Or at least that particular Dodge.

[El Doc]

Another relative had problems with the neighbor's pigs getting at the crops. He bought some ripe bananas and put poison in them. No more pig problem.

Any idea what that poison is called?

[Jonh]

Any idea what that poison is called?

I'm sure I can find out. I asked why he didn't just slaughter and eat them, but I guess the psychological value of poisoning them was better.

[El Doc]

I'm sure I can find out. I asked why he didn't just slaughter and eat them, but I guess the psychological value of poisoning them was better.

And slaughtering a pig is a slow and noisy affair. Don't want to let the neighbors know it's going down until it's long gone.

[Jonh]

And slaughtering a pig is a slow and noisy affair. Don't want to let the neighbors know it's going down until it's long gone.

Good point!

[tresfrijoles]

Sorry to disagree, John, but your wife is talking about Nica to Nica. There are a different set of rules here for Gringos. Maybe one just needs a Nica inlaw or friend to take care of the nasty neighbors, but personal experience has shown us that a Gringo taking on a neighbor problem only gets the corrupt police in the area to come down on you hard. When the law threatens to kill you it's time to get outa' Dodge! Or at least that particular Dodge.

I don't think this is only just a gringo thing, I have seen so many articles in the paper, and heard of stories from friends in the hills of Matagalpa... The battles between neighbors start out silly, your cow comes on my property I eat it, then it turns into a battle between generations of families in every possible way, eventually it gets to the point where family members are knocking off other peoples family members, because their great great grandfather killed and ate their cow. Nicas can really hold a grudge for a long time.

[robertharvey]

I don't think this is only just a gringo thing, I have seen so many articles in the paper, and heard of stories from friends in the hills of Matagalpa... The battles between neighbors start out silly, your cow comes on my property I eat it, then it turns into a battle between generations of families in every possible way, eventually it gets to the point where family members are knocking off other peoples family members, because their great great grandfather killed and ate their cow. Nicas can really hold a grudge for a long time.

Answer is to always hire a Nica to do the "job." Less expensive, less complicated and you can always deny any part in the deed, but be grateful that you will not have to deal with it any more.

[FisherCigarman]

not if you shoot'em between the eyes

And slaughtering a pig is a slow and noisy affair. Don't want to let the neighbors know it's going down until it's long gone.

[El Doc]

not if you shoot'em between the eyes

Takes too long to clean 'em if you do it that way, plus you lose a perfectly good hog maw that way. Slit the throat and string 'em up by the hind legs is how big momma does it.

[FisherCigarman]

yup,momma's right bro, contrary to wild pigs, you can't even let them run,you gotta ambush them,if they run,their adrenaline makes their meat tough, so says some of my Florida Redneck fishing buddies .

Takes too long to clean 'em if you do it that way, plus you lose a perfectly good hog maw that way. Slit the throat and string 'em up by the hind legs is how big momma does it.

[Jonh]

yup,momma's right bro, contrary to wild pigs, you can't even let them run,you gotta ambush them,if they run,their adrenaline makes their meat tough, so says some of my Florida Redneck fishing buddies .

Your fishing buddy is right. I used to work with a guy whose expertise was in industrial meat processing. He told me when an animal is slaughtered while fighting, writhing, and kicking, rigor mortis sets in fast and the meat is tough. Kill it while it's relaxed and the meat is tender.

[robertharvey]

not if you shoot'em between the eyes

Gaston has this iron pipe that he tees off on em between the eyes....they just fall. No fart, no nothing cept dead.

[El Doc]

Gaston has this iron pipe that he tees off on em between the eyes....they just fall. No fart, no nothing cept dead.

Big Momma does that to cows using a sledge hammer. It's pretty impressive to see a 4'10" woman drop a full-grown cow in one swing.

[robertharvey]

Big Momma does that to cows using a sledge hammer. It's pretty impressive to see a 4'10" woman drop a full-grown cow in one swing.

The very same concept....their knees lock for a second, then plop.

[FisherCigarman]

Wonder why,the same rule does not apply to regular pigs?? the squeal like hell before they get butchered and on top of that they die slowly by bleeding to death.

maybe they should hang them upside down,then shot them in the heart.
much tender meat

Your fishing buddy is right. I used to work with a guy whose expertise was in industrial meat processing. He told me when an animal is slaughtered while fighting, writhing, and kicking, rigor mortis sets in fast and the meat is tough. Kill it while it's relaxed and the meat is tender.

[FisherCigarman]

plenty of Cubans doing just that here in South Florida(illegally) to cows and HORSES!!.
not their own cows and horses BTW.

Big Momma does that to cows using a sledge hammer. It's pretty impressive to see a 4'10" woman drop a full-grown cow in one swing.

[robertharvey]

Wonder why,the same rule does not apply to regular pigs??

Gaston has this iron pipe that he tees off on em (pigs) between the eyes....they just fall. No fart, no nothing cept dead.

[bill_bly_ca]

Big Momma does that to cows using a sledge hammer. It's pretty impressive to see a 4'10" woman drop a full-grown cow in one swing.

There is a good amout of Dutch farmers in the area where I grew up. My Dad, being from the old country, befriended a lot of them. Myself because of that friend ship came to know a their children. Gord, tall fellow (good guy but with a temper) was one of them. I ran into him one day at the mall with his hand in a cast up a 1/3rd of his arm. I asked him what happened. He said one of the (Gold white cow, forgotten the name) was giving him a hard time going for milking at the end of a particularly hard day. Well he lost it and gave the cow a right hook right across the Jowls... Cow fell flat for 10 min but he spent 7 weeks in that cast..

You can always tell a dutchman... You just can tell him much.. Wooden shoes, wooden head wouldn't listen.

[Little Corn Tom]

[yt]8_RKPGS2vwM&feature=PlayList&p[/yt]

One of my favorites!

[Dr. Demento]

Gaston has this iron pipe that he tees off on em between the eyes....they just fall. No fart, no nothing cept dead.

dsb scores again. "no fart, no nothin"

[Just Plain John Wayne]

Gaston has this iron pipe that he tees off on em (pigs) between the eyes....they just fall. No fart, no nothing cept dead.

Gaston has had that pipe and used it for over 40 years.....

Fact.....Sometimes 10 or 12 a day.....

Like a Timex gives a lickin' and keeps on tickin'....

[howard cox]

My wife isn't much into TRN. I suspect she thinks there isn't much she can teach a gringo (I'm evidence of that ), and doesn't think she has anything to learn from us really clever people chatting away at each other.

But I mentioned to her some of the problems some of you have had with farm neighbors, and she knew right away how to deal with it. Her family has gone through it too, with their farms.

It seems the only thing they will listen to is a physical threat, coupled with the means and obvious intent to carry it out. Think wild west, or the dark hollows of West Virginia here. JW knows it's true.

Her uncle had a land dispute, and told the neighbors if he found his cows on his land again, they were his and he would slaughter and eat them. It worked. Another relative had problems with the neighbor's pigs getting at the crops. He bought some ripe bananas and put poison in them. No more pig problem. Her grandfather had a problem with campesinos cutting through his land, so after building a solid high fence and gate, he told them if he saw them on his land he would shoot them. No more trespassing.

The modern nuanced, peace-loving gringo girly-man who thinks he can get along by being nice (Peter Christopher) isn't going to make it in rural Nicaragua. It's that simple. You on TRN already knew that though; I'm not talking about you.

And that's her two centavos' worth of advice, passed along through my fingers and keyboard. I personally believe the advice is spot-on.

You couldn"t be more right, John. We would all like to be liked and respected, but down here it is better to be feared by your neighbors.
The last time a pig came onto my property, one of my Doby"s killed it.
The owner of the pig never complained, although I am sure he bitched plenty- just not to me.