Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Venison vs Beef

  1. #1
    TRN's fiesty redhead catahoula fan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Granada, Nicaragua
    Posts
    2,384

    Default Venison vs Beef

    A homesteading friend shared this with me; I laughed so hard that my keyboard is now covered with coffee...just a warning, folks!

    Controversy has long raged about the relative quality and taste of venison and beef as gourmet foods. Some people say venison is tough, with a strong "wild" taste. Others insist venison's flavor is delicate. An independent food research group was retained by the Venison Council to conduct a taste test to determine the truth of ...these conflicting assertions once and for all.

    First, a Grade A Choice Angus steer was chased into a swamp a mile and a half from a road and shot several times. After some of the entrails were removed, the carcass was dragged back over rocks and logs, and through mud and dust to the road. It was then thrown into the back of a pickup truck and driven through rain and snow for 100 miles before being hung out in the sun for a day.

    It was then lugged into a garage where it was skinned and rolled around on the floor for a while. Strict sanitary precautions were observed throughout the test, within the limitations of the butchering environment. For instance, dogs and cats were allowed to sniff and lick the steer carcass, but most of the time were chased away when they attempted to bite chunks out of it.

    Next, a sheet of plywood left from last year's butchering was set up in the basement on two saw horses. The pieces of dried blood, hair and fat left from last year were scraped off with a wire brush last used to clean out the grass stuck under the lawn mower.

    The skinned carcass was then dragged down the steps into the basement where a half dozen inexperienced but enthusiastic and intoxicated men worked on it with meat saws, cleavers, hammers and dull knives. The result was 375 pounds of soup bones, four bushel baskets of meat scraps, and a couple of steaks that were an eighth of an inch thick on one edge and an inch and a half thick on the other edge.

    The steaks were seared on a glowing red hot cast iron skillet to lock in the flavor. When the smoke cleared, rancid bacon grease was added, along with three pounds of onions, and the whole conglomeration was fried for two hours.

    The meat was gently teased from the frying pan and served to three intoxicated and blindfolded taste panel volunteers. Every member of the panel thought it was venison. One volunteer even said it tasted exactly like the venison he has eaten in hunting camps for the past 27 years.

    The results of this scientific test conclusively show that there is no difference between the taste of beef and venison...
    "Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing."

  2. #2
    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Pompano Beach, Florida
    Posts
    10,753
    Blog Entries
    5

    Default Re: Venison vs Beef



    Thanks for the warning!
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  3. #3
    Active TRN Member marnica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Matagalpa, Nicaragua
    Posts
    579

    Default Re: Venison vs Beef

    Sorry Mel, not trying to one up you but I could not help reflect on my own experience here. My B.I.L. has a dairy farm, not beef cattle but dairy mind you. A couple of times in the past a cow wondered into a area of the farm where it is very difficult for them to get out. In, no problem but getting out they end up falling down and breaking a leg or a rib and parish. So there it will lay unnoticed for a time completely stressed out before it finally passes. When it is finally discovered God only knows how much time has passed it is then time to get a couple of guys on horse back to drag the animal back to the barn and start to carve it up much the same way you have described. No refrigeration but plenty of dirt, flies, cats, dogs, and tormenting children. The meat collected is put into used garbage pails and driven all over town to be distributed to various family members where it is placed into used plastic shopping bags and put into over crowded freezers awaiting later consumption. Yum yum! Carne asda anyone?
    Here in the real world they're shutting Detroit down.

  4. #4
    Viejo del Foro Just Plain John Wayne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Puerto Cabezas Nicar
    Posts
    13,264
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: Venison vs Beef

    Quote Originally Posted by marnica View Post
    Sorry Mel, not trying to one up you but I could not help reflect on my own experience here. My B.I.L. has a dairy farm, not beef cattle but dairy mind you. A couple of times in the past a cow wondered into a area of the farm where it is very difficult for them to get out. In, no problem but getting out they end up falling down and breaking a leg or a rib and parish. So there it will lay unnoticed for a time completely stressed out before it finally passes. When it is finally discovered God only knows how much time has passed it is then time to get a couple of guys on horse back to drag the animal back to the barn and start to carve it up much the same way you have described. No refrigeration but plenty of dirt, flies, cats, dogs, and tormenting children. The meat collected is put into used garbage pails and driven all over town to be distributed to various family members where it is placed into used plastic shopping bags and put into over crowded freezers awaiting later consumption. Yum yum! Carne asda anyone?
    Ya forgot the part where the finders of it saw the ciurcle of avation eagle eyes in solid black atire waiting for it to tenderize a bit naturaly, and upon arriving at the site the ribs are whacked by two legged animals with sticks and three or four possums come running out the waste desposal end of the animal to escape they getting caught as well and eaten, but these unfortunate possums if caught are put in a "Cleansing Barrel" for about a week and fed sweet taters to insure they as well are properly fit for consumption......

    This thread is killin' me laughin' because for the most part it is SO.....
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



  5. #5

    Default Re: Venison vs Beef

    Thats a good one. Reminded me of some friends I have so I made sure to send it on to them. Thanks!

  6. #6
    Active TRN Member Dolly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Pennsylvania/Nicarag
    Posts
    196
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Venison vs Beef

    Perfect. We live in prime hunting land in NE Pennsylvania. Hunting camps are everywhere. It seems every year we get some Aholes from Jersey (no offense to anyone on here that may be from Jersey). They have been caught with both cows and goats tied to their vehicles in some manner. I think the first lesson in hunting should be recognizing the prey!! We also end up with at least one dead deer on our land every year from lazy hunters that shoot and don't follow the injured animal. Last year we had two. I don't doubt the truth behind the thought that chasing a cow through the woods would change the flavor of the meat. I know it would put some adrenaline in me!
    It's all part of the adventure!!

  7. #7
    Active TRN Member dixietraveller's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Presently back in Georgia
    Posts
    890

    Default Re: Venison vs Beef

    Quote Originally Posted by Dolly View Post
    Perfect. We live in prime hunting land in NE Pennsylvania. Hunting camps are everywhere. It seems every year we get some Aholes from Jersey (no offense to anyone on here that may be from Jersey). They have been caught with both cows and goats tied to their vehicles in some manner. . . .
    The Hunting Song by Tom Lehrer

    I always will remember,
    ’twas a year ago November,
    I went out to hunt some deer
    On a mornin’ bright and clear.
    I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow,
    Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

    I was in no mood to trifle,
    I took down my trusty rifle
    And went out to stalk my prey.
    What a haul I made that day.
    I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow,
    Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

    The law was very firm, it
    Took away my permit,
    The worst punishment I ever endured.
    It turned out there was a reason,
    Cows were out of season,
    And one of the hunters wasn’t insured.

    People ask me how I do it,
    And I say, there’s nothin’ to it,
    You just stand there lookin’ cute,
    And when something moves, you shoot!
    And there’s ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
    Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred guernsey cow.

    http://www.lyricstime.com/tom-lehrer-the-hunting-song-lyrics.html


    O quantum est in rebus inane! / A palabras necias, oídos sordos

Similar Threads

  1. How to order the RIGHT beef Cuts
    By FisherCigarman in forum Nicaraguan Culture, Politics and History
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 10-29-2011, 02:35 PM
  2. Where To Buy Great Beef
    By catahoula fan in forum Cost of Living
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-06-2010, 06:06 PM
  3. My beef with beef
    By Jonh in forum Nicaraguan Culture, Politics and History
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-21-2010, 11:48 AM
  4. Mexican Beef Sopes
    By Danpolley in forum Tourism Activities and General Travel Issues
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-28-2008, 11:02 AM
  5. Chontales Beef Jerky Company
    By catahoula fan in forum Nicaraguan Culture, Politics and History
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-11-2007, 03:51 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Also visit the False Bluff Blog!