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Thread: With apologies in Advance...

  1. #1
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default With apologies in Advance...

    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

    He inquired, "Where have you been?"

    God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

    "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test balance."

    "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

    God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people.
    Balance in all things."

    God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

    The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

    "That's Ontario , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Ontario are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, dependable, and producers of products to feed the world."

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

    God smiled, "There's Quebec. Wait till you see the idiots I put there."
    ==================================================
    Dude !!!.... Its a Canal !!! Can you Dig it ??

  2. #2
    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    In the winter, South Florida is full of Quebec license plates.

    When my son turned 16 and I was teaching how to drive, I pointed to a Quebec license plate and told him if he ever saw one of those he is to stay far, far away because sooner or later, that driver will do something unbelievably stupid. Worst drivers on the continent!
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  3. #3
    Junkyard Dog randude's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    Not sure I would last very long in Quebec.. Not sure they would even let me in.
    Survivor

  4. #4
    Viejo del Foro Just Plain John Wayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    When I was in Florida LCT it was Those OHIO plates we stayed away from........
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



  5. #5
    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    Ya know how to tell a rich redneck from a poor redneck?


    A rich redneck has two cars jacked up in the front yard!
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  6. #6
    Viejo del Foro El Greco's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Corn Tom View Post
    In the winter, South Florida is full of Quebec license plates.

    When my son turned 16 and I was teaching how to drive, I pointed to a Quebec license plate and told him if he ever saw one of those he is to stay far, far away because sooner or later, that driver will do something unbelievably stupid. Worst drivers on the continent!
    My cousin works at a restaurant; he says they don't tip
    Dios es Amor!

  7. #7

    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    I'm married to one; nevah, nevah received a tip! But I should have!!!!

  8. #8
    Junkyard Dog randude's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    All my jokes are rated R unfortunately
    Survivor

  9. #9
    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    Quote Originally Posted by El Greco View Post
    My cousin works at a restaurant; he says they don't tip

    They are the worst tippers in South Florida.
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  10. #10
    Viejo del Foro El Greco's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    Quote Originally Posted by randude View Post
    All my jokes are rated R unfortunately
    Those are the funniest
    Dios es Amor!

  11. #11
    Viejo del Foro El Greco's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Corn Tom View Post
    They are the worst tippers in South Florida.
    You got that right bud, they're the kiss of DEATH for waiters
    Dios es Amor!

  12. #12
    Viejo del Foro Just Plain John Wayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: With apologies in Advance...

    I think "Nice" places ought to put the "Propina" included in the check and let the menu state it so.....

    You then have a right to complain or not patronize the place if the "Service" is not satisfactory....

    I do not know how in the world the "Tipping" got started in the first place... But I made a few bucks at it in my formative years shining shoes in a Barber Shop my father bought and ran for a spell.....

    Ya just got to ignore "Pinchy" "Tight Wad" people and go on with an enthusasim that makes peoples trips SPECIAL...

    Not all people are Cornholes.... No matter where they from....
    To be called a "Has Been" I must surmise, is much Greater than to be called a "Nevah Been"... JW...



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