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Thread: S#!t people from SJDS say....

  1. #476
    Viejo del Foro el duende grande's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    eldundegrande needs an edumacation, What is a Sysco?
    News flash :Pedicures available in Granada!

    Quote Originally Posted by bill_bly_ca View Post
    One new one . JD is wondering where the local Sysco rep is :-)




    Hello all, looking for food distributors in sjds Thank you in advanced.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    Covid was an intelligence test and we flunked.



  2. #477
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Sysco seems to be the planet's supplier of factory-fresh food and food service equipment. http://www.sysco.com/

  3. #478
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonh View Post
    Sysco seems to be the planet's supplier of factory-fresh food and food service equipment. http://www.sysco.com/
    Yep - Many confuse them with the chippy guys - Cysco...
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  4. #479

    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by bill_bly_ca View Post
    Yep - Many confuse them with the chippy guys - Cysco...

    You Canadian guys spell funny:


    http://www.cisco.com/c/en_ca/index.html

  5. #480
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by KeyWestPirate View Post
    You Canadian guys spell funny:


    http://www.cisco.com/c/en_ca/index.html
    It is more of a Me-ism - I could not spell to save my life .

    You ever see the video of the 2 principals at Cisco present their radical idea of a "Network Switch" to investors through the Loma Prieta quake in 1989?
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  6. #481
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    C H asks..

    Anyone have an experience marrying a Nicarguan in Nicaragua? What is the process?

    I typed nothing...
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  7. #482

    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by bill_bly_ca View Post
    C H asks..

    Anyone have an experience marrying a Nicarguan in Nicaragua? What is the process?

    I typed nothing...

    Boy, this guy is in for the ride of his life !!

  8. #483

    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by bill_bly_ca View Post
    C H asks..

    Anyone have an experience marrying a Nicarguan in Nicaragua? What is the process?

    I typed nothing...
    Here is the process:

    1) Fall in love.
    2) Lose handle on all reason.
    3) Bend heaven and earth to make a life with your new Nicaraguan love.
    4) Realize that the romantic sexual haze that made your Nicaragua love so desirable is a transitory state intended (by biology) to get people to do things that they would otherwise not do and that without this romantic sexual haze that the very real differences in culture and society and personality and character are either extremely daunting or overwhelming.
    5) Try to work on the myriad issues between you and your Nicaraguan "love."
    6) Discover that your spouse is completely unwilling to compromise for you or for the benefit of your relationship.
    7) Endure verbal, emotional, psychological and even physical abuse from your spouse until your spirit breaks and you become a shell of the person you once were or else until you comprehend the living torment and damnation that lies before you.
    8) Flee from the caustic and ill-fated relationship as quickly and completely as you possibly can.
    9) Fend off countless attempts from you estranged spouse to "repair" the relationship, because you now know that what they mean by repair is for you to come back and continue being their punching bag.
    10) Change or delete all of your Facebook, Twitter, Email, and phone (etc) information, as this is the only option left to you to keep the plague incarnate that you married from reinfecting you.

    Enjoy!
    Soy el chele mono.

  9. #484
    Viejo del Foro el duende grande's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Is this the preface for another Swinging Richard meets the Brown Breasted Mattress Thrasher story?
    Inquiring minds want to know....

    You forgot to mention Latin women have priorities-
    1- themselves
    2 -their kids
    3- their mother
    4- cousins and such
    5- facebook friends
    6- husbands
    and a few probably have priority 4.5- their career, I just haven't met one of these yet (in Nic, anyway)

    Tell these dumb newbies in sjds that Nicaragua is not about success, its about enduring the process.

    Or as the late Che Guevara on the late NL said: "and still they keep coming!"
    Last edited by el duende grande; 08-08-2017 at 08:46 PM.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    Covid was an intelligence test and we flunked.



  10. #485
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    And all of that differs from relationships in other cultures, how exactly?

  11. #486
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    I forgot about JESUS, probably in the top 4, you decide.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    Covid was an intelligence test and we flunked.



  12. #487
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    CH - Is a she......
    ==================================================
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  13. #488
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by el duende grande View Post
    Latin women have priorities-
    1- themselves
    2 -their kids
    3- their mother
    4- cousins and such
    5- facebook friends
    6- husbands
    This list is on the money, IMO. Clearly the result of long observation and careful thought. (Although I doubt your later addition to the list, 'Jesus', is as important to Nica women as His Virgin Mother, Mama Maria.)

    So why would a man want to be on a team where he bats last? Most gringos arrive here in an ego-fog, i.e., they're simply ignorant. But for Nicaraguan men, marriage works here because they have they exact same list of priorities, with wives near the bottom. ('Clients' may be more important than 'friends' on FB.)
    Don't forget that the husband's mother is a terror as a mother-in-law - no woman on Earth is good enough for her son! Further, if the wife proves less than pleasing, liberal indulgence in guaro y putas is the cultural norm. OK for husbands, not wives. In Nicaragua the double standard thrives.
    See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil: be a wise simian

  14. #489
    Viejo del Foro Daddy-YO's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by bill_bly_ca View Post
    CH - Is a she......
    Gringas expect husbands to be 'faithful'. As far as Nica men are concern faithfulness is for dogs. By marrying they promise 'loyalty', but if, as things turn out, the wife proves she not such a good lay, they'll go afield for a good time. It's their cultural right.

    Besides, a gringa may look like a model, but if she cannot afford to always pick up the tab, a sane Nica must consider: is she really worth marrying?
    See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil: be a wise simian

  15. #490
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by Daddy-YO View Post
    is she really worth marrying?

    That I do not know, but from the little I read, in country for less than a year - It will probably not end well...
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  16. #491
    House SOB Little Corn Tom's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    This thread should be required reading for any man moving to Nicaragua ..... not that he would believe it.......but at least he would be warned.
    Life's different here ... It's a whole 'nother pace.

  17. #492
    Viejo del Foro el duende grande's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    In a normal culture men have authority and this balances out the X chromosome excesses. In a matriarchal society, emotion runs riot and the kids are raised in this environment and turn out worse. Or, in a richer country where the State is the daddy, you end up with femi-nazies and Beta males.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jonh View Post
    And all of that differs from relationships in other cultures, how exactly?

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    Covid was an intelligence test and we flunked.



  18. #493
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Maybe we should chart some sort of point system for evaluating Nica women for the benefit of the newbies?

    Like-
    Employed engineer or doctor, plus 5 points
    unemployed -3
    unemployed professional -5
    Lived abroad +5
    speaks fluent English +3
    Has books in the house (other than bible) +5
    Has no drunks in family +5
    Drunks in family -5 per drunk
    comes from family with mother and father in house +5

    feel free to add some more!
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Corn Tom View Post
    This thread should be required reading for any man moving to Nicaragua ..... not that he would believe it.......but at least he would be warned.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    Covid was an intelligence test and we flunked.



  19. #494

    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by el duende grande View Post
    Maybe we should chart some sort of point system for evaluating Nica women for the benefit of the newbies?

    Like-
    Employed engineer or doctor, plus 5 points
    unemployed -3
    unemployed professional -5
    Lived abroad +5
    speaks fluent English +3
    Has books in the house (other than bible) +5
    Has no drunks in family +5
    Drunks in family -5 per drunk
    comes from family with mother and father in house +5

    feel free to add some more!


    Likes to cook and keep a clean house +5
    Knows how to iron +5
    Enjoys Reading +5 (gives her something to talk to you about) ((These are very rare))
    Is interested in more than local gossip, her cell phone, and clothes +5

    Speaks ANY English and seems motivated to learn more +5
    Endlessly begs money for her extended family -10
    ( a budget might be appropriate here,, you are not going to beat this one.
    Your only hope is the whole family doesn't want to quit work and and sponge off you).

    Truly enjoys sex (be careful here) +10
    Enjoys sex in any other position besides missionary +10

  20. #495

    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    along the same lines we should make a point system for the guys that come looking to get married/attached to local girls.

    already has a wife in the states - 25
    already has a family in the states -50 (automatic disqualification if the children are under age still)
    within 10 years age of the girl +5
    10-20 years older than the girl 0
    20+ years older -10
    financially stable +5
    spends little to no time talking about politics +10
    Speaks Fluent Spanish +10 (we are in a spanish country after all)
    Speak a little spanish +5
    speaks no spanish -10
    Does not drink +10
    Is running from something in his home country (debt, law, family, etc) -10
    Willing to adapt to the culture of the area they chose to live in +10



    I think most of the guys that come down looking think they are playing golf and are going for the lowest score possible.

  21. #496
    Viejo del Foro el duende grande's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Bingo!
    this ain't Kansas, Toto.

    "Support mental health or I'll break your head"

    Covid was an intelligence test and we flunked.



  22. #497

    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Quote Originally Posted by vinyljunkie77003 View Post
    along the same lines we should make a point system for the guys that come looking to get married/attached to local girls.

    already has a wife in the states - 25
    already has a family in the states -50 (automatic disqualification if the children are under age still)
    within 10 years age of the girl +5
    10-20 years older than the girl 0
    20+ years older -10
    30+ years older -25
    40+ years older -50

    financially stable +5
    spends little to no time talking about politics +10
    Speaks Fluent Spanish +10 (we are in a spanish country after all)
    Speak a little spanish +5
    speaks no spanish -10
    Does not drink +10
    Is running from something in his home country (debt, law, family, etc) -10
    Willing to adapt to the culture of the area they chose to live in +10






    I think most of the guys that come down looking think they are playing golf and are going for the lowest score possible.

    No way I'm going to win with this math. But, I can't play golf anymore, bad back.


  23. #498
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    H Z Is like all the others

    Moving to San Juan in September.... looking for good yoga instructor certification programs & places to give yoga classes
    Also looking for places to teach English (preferably adults). Already TEFL certified
    Also open to other job opportunities if you know of any
    Thanks!
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  24. #499
    Para aquí para acá Jonh's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    Again with the yoga! Is SJDS the elephant graveyard of yoga?

  25. #500
    TRN Science officer bill_bly_ca's Avatar
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    Default Re: S#!t people from SJDS say....

    CA says....


    How will the eclipse affect us here in Nicaragua? What time will it occur? Are we supposed to stay inside? Or carry on as usual (for me that would be running on the beach with my dogs)? Feeling clueless.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +

    I am surprised there are no ads for "Eclipse Yoga - Book today"
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